Have you ever heard that dogs are unable to see what is happening on the television because it is only two dimensional? As I looked to see if this is true, I found that there really isn't a consensus about this. Many sites claim that the lights and colors on the screen are appealing to some dogs, but they are unable to make out shapes very well. Other sources say they can see about as well as they do in nature.
Another of life's mysteries that will remain mysterious to me.
But I do know that television is not only two dimensional in a literal way, it is also two dimensional in a figurative way. I think that leads us to a lot of frustration and unhappiness.
When we see people on television, when we follow their stories and their lives, we see super compelling things happening. Recently the show Game of Thrones ended with a lot of hype and conversation, and it reminded me just how deeply we can get into fantasy stories about people who have never really existed. We want the good to win, and usually in television, that happens. We want to see people struggle and then reach a moment of clarity or victory, so we can celebrate with them. And we dream that we, too, could win such a victory and live out our days happily ever after.
The almost unimaginable plot twists aren't only in our fantasy shows, however. They are in our realistic shows and even in what we call reality television. For the sake of the excitement of the story there must be a win against odds, or a fall from grace for the "bad people," or something else compelling enough to make us watch. Even on shows that are supposed to be about people in every day life, people are playing characters meant to compel us to watch.
Television can only show a two dimensional version of reality. For many of us, that two dimensional version is something we imagine happening in our own lives. Our conflicts will be perfectly resolved with just the right words. The problem we have been having will be solved within a thirty minute timeframe, and that problem will not arise again. Good will win, because it must, and bad will fail, because that is simply the way the world works.
But it isn't the way the world works. Things are messy. They don't work out the way we hope or expect. Conflicts don't magically resolve. We can't just put past issues behind and move on.
But we still expect these things, because, let's face it, television is the only time we feel like we are really able to look in at other families and see how they work. We only know our own lives and our own families. We may be very close to a few other families, but seeing the inner workings of how families really work... What's better for that than a show like "Modern Family?"
Since these are the only windows we have to other families, we imagine that's normal. That's how it's supposed to work. The reality is, there is no way it is supposed to work, except that we support one another through thick and thin with love. That will look different in every family. Even though we don't do this consciously, using television or other means to try to define what is normal for a family is harmful to us, because then we always feel weird, broken, unable to measure up. Maybe even a little boring.
Try to notice how you might expect things to be because of the vision of reality given to us through television. And try to remember that vision is two dimensional. Real life is three dimensions and involves conflict and lack of clarity and people doing things that seem out of character and all kinds of other things that don't fit into the box of a "good narrative." That's real life. And none of it is normal.
Anyway, that's the view today from where I stand.
Wednesday, May 22, 2019
Wednesday, May 15, 2019
Divisiveness
I made the mistake last week of watching some of the Judiciary Committee meeting of the House of Representatives as they contemplated whether or not to hold Attorney General William Barr in contempt of the House. I was curious how each side would frame their arguments, and I wanted to see what a reasonable argument would be for either case.
Likely because I don't spend much time watching actual proceedings in government, I was surprised by the level of derision displayed by each of the lawmakers as they made a point or refuted the previous point. The old saying "If looks could kill..." came to mind, and could have been altered to say, "If words could kill..."
One moment stood out when a lawmaker (I honestly do not remember which one or from which party) called out another representative for name calling and lack of decorum. It was such a moment of theatre. Each of these representatives, as they spoke to and about one another, were as spiteful and dismissive as they could be, even as they called one another "gentleman" and "gentlelady" and used terms like the honorable representative from such and such. Using names, profanity, whatever language one chose could hardly have sounded more derisive.
My thought is this: Is this what we have come to? Is this the best we can do? Is it necessary that in order to make a point we have to treat one another as if they are moronic, stupid beyond our ability to describe?
When we disagree with one another, can we do so in a respectful way, recognizing that the person who is disagreeing with us is likely not a complete imbecile? People are worthy of respect, whether we vehemently disagree with them or not.
This one episode that I witnessed on television seems to be part of a larger trend that has been exacerbated by the ability to snipe one another's comments on social media. Meaningful dialogue has been replaced by one liners meant to injure or discredit one another. I don't claim that this tendency is new in our world, one need only look at past political debate to prove that it isn't, but it seems to have increased so much so that there is no possibility of middle ground.
This plays out in so many different places in our daily lives. The church is not immune from this type of behavior. In some ways, because the stakes are high in religion, the church is even more contentious. But I don't believe that is the way God intended the church to be.
The overall ethos of the world is division, but the overall ethos of God is love and grace. Can we treat one another as if we really believe we are all children of God? Can we lower the level of animosity and see the places of fear that so many are reacting from? And can we see the fear within ourselves that causes us to react the way we do?
I am not advocating setting aside the importance of struggles for equality, for access to services like health care and housing for all, for an end to racism and sexism and other forms of injustice. As a Christian, I believe it is my duty to stand against all those forms of inequality. It is my hope that as a people we can speak about these issues in ways that do not dehumanize those who disagree. That is something I don't see happening in our government or in the rest of the world. To make a point, many choose to make anyone holding the opposing view less than human. But it is possible to disagree while still being genuinely respectful to one another. In fact, I believe it is necessary so all people everywhere can receive the respect we deserve as creations of God.
My takeaway is simple. Hopefully we can all try to lower the level of vitriol on social media and other platforms and use reasoned arguments instead of heated insults to make a point. It may not be reciprocated. But in the long run, I think it will improve the possibility of progress.
At least that's the view from where I stand today...
Likely because I don't spend much time watching actual proceedings in government, I was surprised by the level of derision displayed by each of the lawmakers as they made a point or refuted the previous point. The old saying "If looks could kill..." came to mind, and could have been altered to say, "If words could kill..."
One moment stood out when a lawmaker (I honestly do not remember which one or from which party) called out another representative for name calling and lack of decorum. It was such a moment of theatre. Each of these representatives, as they spoke to and about one another, were as spiteful and dismissive as they could be, even as they called one another "gentleman" and "gentlelady" and used terms like the honorable representative from such and such. Using names, profanity, whatever language one chose could hardly have sounded more derisive.
My thought is this: Is this what we have come to? Is this the best we can do? Is it necessary that in order to make a point we have to treat one another as if they are moronic, stupid beyond our ability to describe?
When we disagree with one another, can we do so in a respectful way, recognizing that the person who is disagreeing with us is likely not a complete imbecile? People are worthy of respect, whether we vehemently disagree with them or not.
This one episode that I witnessed on television seems to be part of a larger trend that has been exacerbated by the ability to snipe one another's comments on social media. Meaningful dialogue has been replaced by one liners meant to injure or discredit one another. I don't claim that this tendency is new in our world, one need only look at past political debate to prove that it isn't, but it seems to have increased so much so that there is no possibility of middle ground.
This plays out in so many different places in our daily lives. The church is not immune from this type of behavior. In some ways, because the stakes are high in religion, the church is even more contentious. But I don't believe that is the way God intended the church to be.
The overall ethos of the world is division, but the overall ethos of God is love and grace. Can we treat one another as if we really believe we are all children of God? Can we lower the level of animosity and see the places of fear that so many are reacting from? And can we see the fear within ourselves that causes us to react the way we do?
I am not advocating setting aside the importance of struggles for equality, for access to services like health care and housing for all, for an end to racism and sexism and other forms of injustice. As a Christian, I believe it is my duty to stand against all those forms of inequality. It is my hope that as a people we can speak about these issues in ways that do not dehumanize those who disagree. That is something I don't see happening in our government or in the rest of the world. To make a point, many choose to make anyone holding the opposing view less than human. But it is possible to disagree while still being genuinely respectful to one another. In fact, I believe it is necessary so all people everywhere can receive the respect we deserve as creations of God.
My takeaway is simple. Hopefully we can all try to lower the level of vitriol on social media and other platforms and use reasoned arguments instead of heated insults to make a point. It may not be reciprocated. But in the long run, I think it will improve the possibility of progress.
At least that's the view from where I stand today...
Thursday, May 9, 2019
Anyone Feel Rich?
I listened to an episode of Hidden Brain on the NPR website this week while I cleaned my office. Many of you who are reading these words are wondering if I ever clean my office. I do, often on Mondays, and when I do, I often listen to some interesting and hopefully motivating music. By Wednesday, my office is a mess again.
This week I decided almost on a whim to listen to Hidden Brain.
I picked an episode entitled "Why No One Feels Rich: The Psychology of Inequality," also largely on a whim. It was a bit shorter than several of the other episodes, it was near the top of the menu, and the subject sounded interesting.
It had to do with the way that we judge ourselves. The subject matter was wealth, and whether we think we are wealthy or not. But the take-away for me was how we think of ourselves in almost all aspects of our lives. Are we successful in whatever way we choose to define success? Maybe it is about wealth, but maybe it is status. Maybe it is our looks. It could be anything we think of as defining us as successful or not.
Think of what you use to judge yourself. Is it your intrinsic worth? Is there some way to measure what you as a human are worth? Or is it your relative worth in comparison to others? The show made the point that no one feels rich because whomever we are, we are comparing ourselves with others. That type of comparison seems like many people would feel rich. After all, including myself, most Americans are within the upper few percentage points of the richest people in the world. According to the Global Rich List, an income of just over 32,000 American Dollars per year ranks one in the top 1% of earners in the world. Let that sink in for a minute.
http://www.globalrichlist.com/
That shows in a flash the economic disparity worldwide.
But most of us don't feel like we are rich. In fact, most of us feel, well, kind of the opposite. That's because, psychologically, we are pre-disposed to compare ourselves to people who are above us in our self-constructed ladders of success.
I recommend the podcast of Hidden Brain for details and statistics.
https://www.npr.org/2019/04/19/715145723/why-no-one-feels-rich-the-psychology-of-inequality
For reasons we don't understand, we compare ourselves to those we think are higher than ourselves and for that reason we always come up short. (Of course we come up short, because we choose to compare ourselves to people we think are higher up!) Maybe it is a good motivating factor for greater success. Or maybe it is part of the sinful condition of greed. Whatever it is, it causes us great stress, whether we are a high wage earner or not.
The stresses of this type of comparison rise greatly in societies where there is great disparity in income.
Is there a better measure? Of course there is. We know we are beautiful creatures. Those of us with the eyes of Christian faith believe that we are created in the image of the very God of the universe. Can't get better than that! And still we measure ourselves by standards we cannot reach. Even if we do reach them, we replace that standard with the next rung of the ladder, and see ourselves as lacking.
Of course, ambition to achieve higher goals can be good and motivating for success. But do we really have to beat ourselves up by constantly reminding ourselves that, in comparison to whomever, we are a failure?
To me, this is a byproduct of the myth of the American Dream. The myth is if you work hard enough, you can achieve anything. It is similar to the myth of the modern Prosperity Gospel, if you believe hard enough and pray to God hard enough, God will give you whatever you want.
The flip side to those beliefs is, if you don't achieve whatever you want, that means you didn't work hard enough, or if you don't receive the wealth or healing or whatever you have been praying for, you haven't believed hard enough or prayed hard enough.
How damaging that type of belief system is. It demeans us. It causes us to doubt our self-worth, and maybe even slip into self loathing.
Can we find a new measure, one that affirms our worth no matter our number of dollars? Is it possible to see the value of the small in comparison to the huge?
I believe it is. Our worth is in God, the creator and redeemer of the universe. God has made us, loved us, sustained us. God is our source of worth. It is sometimes hard to even catch a glimpse in today's world, but it is there through the eyes of faith. Hopefully, that vision is daily forming more fully. And that's the view from where I stand.
This week I decided almost on a whim to listen to Hidden Brain.
I picked an episode entitled "Why No One Feels Rich: The Psychology of Inequality," also largely on a whim. It was a bit shorter than several of the other episodes, it was near the top of the menu, and the subject sounded interesting.
It had to do with the way that we judge ourselves. The subject matter was wealth, and whether we think we are wealthy or not. But the take-away for me was how we think of ourselves in almost all aspects of our lives. Are we successful in whatever way we choose to define success? Maybe it is about wealth, but maybe it is status. Maybe it is our looks. It could be anything we think of as defining us as successful or not.
Think of what you use to judge yourself. Is it your intrinsic worth? Is there some way to measure what you as a human are worth? Or is it your relative worth in comparison to others? The show made the point that no one feels rich because whomever we are, we are comparing ourselves with others. That type of comparison seems like many people would feel rich. After all, including myself, most Americans are within the upper few percentage points of the richest people in the world. According to the Global Rich List, an income of just over 32,000 American Dollars per year ranks one in the top 1% of earners in the world. Let that sink in for a minute.
http://www.globalrichlist.com/
That shows in a flash the economic disparity worldwide.
But most of us don't feel like we are rich. In fact, most of us feel, well, kind of the opposite. That's because, psychologically, we are pre-disposed to compare ourselves to people who are above us in our self-constructed ladders of success.
I recommend the podcast of Hidden Brain for details and statistics.
https://www.npr.org/2019/04/19/715145723/why-no-one-feels-rich-the-psychology-of-inequality
For reasons we don't understand, we compare ourselves to those we think are higher than ourselves and for that reason we always come up short. (Of course we come up short, because we choose to compare ourselves to people we think are higher up!) Maybe it is a good motivating factor for greater success. Or maybe it is part of the sinful condition of greed. Whatever it is, it causes us great stress, whether we are a high wage earner or not.
The stresses of this type of comparison rise greatly in societies where there is great disparity in income.
Is there a better measure? Of course there is. We know we are beautiful creatures. Those of us with the eyes of Christian faith believe that we are created in the image of the very God of the universe. Can't get better than that! And still we measure ourselves by standards we cannot reach. Even if we do reach them, we replace that standard with the next rung of the ladder, and see ourselves as lacking.
Of course, ambition to achieve higher goals can be good and motivating for success. But do we really have to beat ourselves up by constantly reminding ourselves that, in comparison to whomever, we are a failure?
To me, this is a byproduct of the myth of the American Dream. The myth is if you work hard enough, you can achieve anything. It is similar to the myth of the modern Prosperity Gospel, if you believe hard enough and pray to God hard enough, God will give you whatever you want.
The flip side to those beliefs is, if you don't achieve whatever you want, that means you didn't work hard enough, or if you don't receive the wealth or healing or whatever you have been praying for, you haven't believed hard enough or prayed hard enough.
How damaging that type of belief system is. It demeans us. It causes us to doubt our self-worth, and maybe even slip into self loathing.
Can we find a new measure, one that affirms our worth no matter our number of dollars? Is it possible to see the value of the small in comparison to the huge?
I believe it is. Our worth is in God, the creator and redeemer of the universe. God has made us, loved us, sustained us. God is our source of worth. It is sometimes hard to even catch a glimpse in today's world, but it is there through the eyes of faith. Hopefully, that vision is daily forming more fully. And that's the view from where I stand.
Wednesday, May 1, 2019
Judge Not...
There's a whole lot of judging going on in the world. It seems that humans have a built in sorting mechanism, and that mechanism is best at categorizing things and people into good or bad, beautiful or ugly, worthy or unworthy, pious or sinful, or any of a number of other categories. The world is not organized into these well-defined categories. It comes in multiple shades of every color, with sounds of different timbres, touch of every type of texture. Our judgement of what is good, of what is beautiful, of so many other things is personal, but it is also cultural. Our judgments are affected by our location, our experience, our personalities, our DNA, and countless other things.
We aren't even able to properly understand our own biases, although we do get better understanding when we try to examine those biases and how they affect our judgment of things, others, and ourselves. Those biases and our own judgements change so much over time that we should probably avoid hard and fast, unyielding views on most any topic. It's kind of like the saying about the weather in Tennessee, if you don't like it, just wait until tomorrow. It will be totally different.
As we walk through life, if our judgment is one thing today, it may be something totally different tomorrow because of experience, new information, or some other change in ourselves or our understanding.
I have found one particular judgement to be relatively consistent in my own life, unfortunately, and that is harsh judgment of myself. I know there are many who deal with the same thing. Sometimes it is overwhelming and unrelenting.
In my studies I learned about the different between guilt and shame. Guilt is the understanding that you have done something wrong. Shame happens when you think that you are wrong. We could slip into shame for any number of reasons. But living is hard when we look at mistakes or faults and think they define us.
If you look at yourself often and call yourself names, (stupid, ugly, worthless) know that this is not what God wants for you. God created you with God's own image. And you would never call God a bad name, right? Recognize in yourself that you are of God.
Yes, you are imperfect. Mistakes are made by the very best at any particular skill. No one is served by beating yourself up over a mistake. Let it go and do your best in the future, knowing that you'll make a mistake (or many) then, too.
Mistakes don't define you. God has defined you as beautiful, wonderful, worth loving and saving. Shouldn't that be enough for all of us to recognize our own worth?
Some of you may have read this post and wondered, but others like me know precisely where this is coming from. As I often tell the congregation I serve, I usually preach what I need to hear.
May the love of God surround you as you daily, moment by moment, choose to stop judging yourself. You are beautiful. You are wonderful. You are loved by a perfect and loving God. I'd say that makes you pretty awesome!
That's the view from where I stand today...
Pastor Chris
We aren't even able to properly understand our own biases, although we do get better understanding when we try to examine those biases and how they affect our judgment of things, others, and ourselves. Those biases and our own judgements change so much over time that we should probably avoid hard and fast, unyielding views on most any topic. It's kind of like the saying about the weather in Tennessee, if you don't like it, just wait until tomorrow. It will be totally different.
As we walk through life, if our judgment is one thing today, it may be something totally different tomorrow because of experience, new information, or some other change in ourselves or our understanding.
I have found one particular judgement to be relatively consistent in my own life, unfortunately, and that is harsh judgment of myself. I know there are many who deal with the same thing. Sometimes it is overwhelming and unrelenting.
In my studies I learned about the different between guilt and shame. Guilt is the understanding that you have done something wrong. Shame happens when you think that you are wrong. We could slip into shame for any number of reasons. But living is hard when we look at mistakes or faults and think they define us.
If you look at yourself often and call yourself names, (stupid, ugly, worthless) know that this is not what God wants for you. God created you with God's own image. And you would never call God a bad name, right? Recognize in yourself that you are of God.
Yes, you are imperfect. Mistakes are made by the very best at any particular skill. No one is served by beating yourself up over a mistake. Let it go and do your best in the future, knowing that you'll make a mistake (or many) then, too.
Mistakes don't define you. God has defined you as beautiful, wonderful, worth loving and saving. Shouldn't that be enough for all of us to recognize our own worth?
Some of you may have read this post and wondered, but others like me know precisely where this is coming from. As I often tell the congregation I serve, I usually preach what I need to hear.
May the love of God surround you as you daily, moment by moment, choose to stop judging yourself. You are beautiful. You are wonderful. You are loved by a perfect and loving God. I'd say that makes you pretty awesome!
That's the view from where I stand today...
Pastor Chris
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