But... I didn't mean it...

 Sometimes I say or do something that hurts someone else's feelings, and my initial reaction is something like, "But, I didn't mean it THAT way." 

It is common, I think, for many of us to think that someone should be offended only when we intended to offend them. If I say something that hurts someone else's feelings, but I didn't mean it that way, somehow that is supposed to mean I am off the hook.

I have been thinking lately about something that happened to me many years ago. I used to sing every year at a local Jewish Temple during the High Holy Days. Leading up to the worship services, we had a series of rehearsals.

Some of you may have heard the ancient music that is sung at these services. Many of the melodies were used in the soundtrack to the film Schindler's List. The melodies are beautiful and haunting, and for someone like me, who is a student of music, they got lodged in my brain.

So, one night as we are leaving rehearsal, I was whistling one of these beautiful melodies as I was walking out to my car. I was doing this because the melody is beautiful and I was lost in its majesty. One of the elder members of the choir pulled me aside and asked me to stop. He said these melodies were sacred to his people and they shouldn't be treated in such a way.

I was embarrassed. I had a lot of respect for this man. He was probably the same age as my grandfather who fought in World War II, so I can only imagine what he had lived through as a Jewish man. I apologized and stopped immediately.

Then some others from the choir who heard the exchange came up and said they were sorry he had spoken to me in that way. And I got a little self-righteous. I was just enjoying those same melodies. He didn't own them. What was his problem anyway?

I was defensively focused on my intention, and had little or no empathy in what his experience was in hearing the melodies in that way.

How many times do we know of something that we have said that someone took "the wrong way?" Is it really "the wrong way?" Or is it that we failed to have the empathy to see how our actions or language affected someone else.

That's not being "Politically Correct," it's just being kind and human. Doing our best to understand another point of view when we use words that are non-intentionally hurtful is simply treating others as we would like to be treated ourselves.

I know I need to do better. In fact, I need to make a few apologies...

That's my view today.

Why the Church Needs to be able to say "Black Lives Matter"

 This is a difficult topic for some. The words have become politicized. People have chosen sides and demonized each other. Before judging these words, I ask you to take a step back from the politics and the way they have been spun to make us angry at one another. Try to see this from a different point of view.

The church needs to be able to say "Black Lives Matter." This is because Black lives do indeed matter. There is no need for debate or questioning of this point. Black Lives Matter.

The counterpoint to this statement that is often made is that all lives matter. In saying this, there is a suggestion that saying Black Lives Matter somehow means Black lives matter more than other lives, and singling out one group of people is placing them above others.

My stance on this depends heavily on how the word "all" has been used in the past of our nation. If there is national scripture, some writings of our government that have risen to be revered above others, there is possibly none more important than the Declaration of Independence. This document, memorized by many of us, is foundational to what it means to be a citizen of the United States. The first sentence in the second paragraph is quoted as much as any sentence in national history, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness."

These are inspiring words, written by a group of people seeking to be released from subjection by a king and working to create a nation that lived by these principles. But the word "all" is deceiving. We might think that "all" means every man. At this point, these same Rights did not extend to women. In this case, "all" means "some."

That's the root of the problem of saying "all lives matter." On its face, it is certainly true that all lives matter, just as it is true that Black Lives Matter. But given the history of the United States, where in our foundational documents we can say "all" men are created equal, while still forming a nation that subjugated some to slavery and when these were regarded as people counted them as 60% of a person, we realize that the word "all" is insufficient. Regarding someone as 40% less than another human is the very definition of dehumanization. Clearly not "all" men were regarded as having been born equal. Clearly not "all" men were even considered men.

The statement "Black Lives Matter" takes any uncertainty from that statement. If "all" can mean "some" or "elite" or "white land-owning men," then we need to have different language if we want to make sure to include everyone when we say "all."

The church must affirm that Black Lives Matter because the church must affirm that every life matters. All people are created in the image of God. All people are precious to God. This is affirmed in our scripture and in our theology.

Saying "all lives matter" literally white-washes the notion that each and every life matters in the same way the Declaration of Independence did. As people of God, as followers of Christ, we must be able to say, along with our Black sisters and brothers that Black Lives do indeed matter.

We also need to be able to say "Indigenous Lives Matter," "Women's Lives Matter," "Immigrant Lives Matter," "Non-Christians' Lives Matter," "Poor Peoples' Lives Matter," and many many more. We need to say this, loudly and clearly, because for centuries we have said the opposite in word and deed. Saying something specific like this isn't disrespectful to "all" lives, but refusing to say something like this is a reminder that those lives have often been left out. They haven't always mattered. And they must. They must matter, if we believe in the Creator who made all in the Creator's image.

That's my view today.