Worth

I had an epiphany of sorts. We are getting close to two years of pandemic. With that comes pandemic fatigue, and for many, I think, a kind of pandemic depression. You may be wondering about your future, about the work you have chosen, or maybe the work that has chosen you. You are likely wondering about family--when will we be able to be together and visit like we once did? It used to seem so hard to find time to visit our families, especially the ones far away, and now we look back and think how easy it was back then. You may be wondering about what new fears may come along with the virus as it continues to change in order to survive our attempts to eradicate it.

And you may struggle with your own self worth. It is common in a time of fear and crisis, especially one as prolonged as this one, to take a step back and look at ourselves. Are we doing what we are meant to do? Are we doing it as well as we ought? Are we the people God has chosen us to be, or for non-believers, are we the best we can be for the sake of ourselves and humanity?

Can we ever be the best? Could we not always say we could have done better, worked harder, spent more time?

Is our worth found in what we do, in what we produce?

If you feel this way, you are not alone. The information we consume every day emphasizes those who do big, amazing things. It reinforces any negativity we may have about ourselves by comparison.

But our worth is not in what we do or in what we produce. Our worth is in who we are.

We don't spend much time thinking about or reading about that. Yet I know it to be true, because I know whatever we have done or not done, our accomplishments cannot fill the void of self-worth. There is always a way to judge ourselves harshly. There is always a way to say we haven't done enough. 

There is a poster at the gym where I used to work out that says, "You can't out-train a bad diet." Well, you can't out perform your own self image.

And you can't rely on others to lift you up, either. At best it would be a momentary boost, and at worst you would always be thinking you somehow had fooled them.

It must come from you.

It has to come from deep within, too. It's not a shallow re-assure yourself in the mirror type of thing, although that may help for some. Finding worth in who you are means letting go of finding worth in what you do and what you make and what you have. 

It is who you are that is precious. For believers, it is confirmed in the loving way God created you. It may mean more to you to recognize that who you are is the only truly unique thing about you. Others can have stuff or do stuff, and maybe better. But they can never be you.

Of course, do your best with what you are, but always realize the value and beauty of who you are.