Women in Ministry

Recently there has been a lot of talk about women in ministry. The call from Southern Baptist John MacArthur to writer Beth Moore to "go home" should be a call to arms for all of us who are past ready to break with traditional patriarchy and affirm that God is fully capable of choosing who God intends to call to ministry without input from us (especially us white men who seem to be threatened by anyone who doesn't look like us who gains authority).

I want to highlight just one aspect of women in ministry that I have found to be essential as I work alongside Joy Warren, my wife and co-pastor at the church where I serve. There are many, many more reasons to affirm these calls, but this one is on my heart today.

Men, in case you didn't know it, women have different lived experiences than we do. People of Color have different lived experiences than whites in the United States. People in the LGBTQ+ community have different lived experiences than straight cis-gendered people. We cannot fully understand one another's lived experiences, but through careful listening without judging we often can make a lot of progress.

I mention people of Color and the LGBTQ+ community alongside women in this post because in the history of religious culture in the Western world, straight, white men have had a consistent monopoly on power for a long time, often using scripture itself to legitimate that monopoly. The fight for acceptance of one marginalized community is, to me, the fight for them all.

In my location, I have found that I am not able to do the same kind of work with people that Joy is able to do. Sure, there are some men and even some women who are reluctant to accept her authority as a clergy person without a Y chromosome. More importantly than that, there are many women who cannot be cared for in the same way by a male pastor.

Some may find this hard to understand, but imagine yourself a victim of violence at the hands of a man. Imagine yourself a woman having been raped, assaulted, objectified by men. Imagine then that the only authority in your church is another man. Can you feel safe relating your story of abuse? Can you feel safe talking about other issues and not be afraid that another man you trust may betray your trust?

I know stories of women who have made that hard decision to trust their male pastor and who have them been victimized by that pastor. It is horrible. It is detestable. It does happen.

Could anyone blame a woman for feeling more comfortable in a counseling setting, in a pulpit setting, or in any pastoral relationship with a woman? I certainly can't.

Us straight white men often have a hard time even imagining that someone might consider us unworthy of being clergy. Or of being just about anything. But take a moment to think about how that might feel, straight white men.

And then think how it would feel to have scripture thrown in your face telling you God had ordained that you aren't worthy. Only people like us are worthy. Only straight white men who worship a Savior who was Middle-Eastern and who they insist was not sexual at all. By the way, many add A to the LGBTQ grouping to represent someone who is Asexual, a term that likely would describe the way many Christians view Jesus.

We've got to get this right. We have to make space for people to care for one another with then authority of God and the authority of the Church behind them. We certainly do when we find a straight white man who was a murderer, and we say that this person can reach out to criminals because he is one of them. But so many won't do the same for good, loving people who are women or labelled some other way.

Is that really what Jesus wanted? For us to fight about who can be called instead of celebrating that God is calling more and more people?

That's the view today...

It's all personal

I have made a consistent point at different times in my ministry. Sometimes it has been blunt, and sometimes it has been more subtle, but when I am told that I am being too political, and it doesn't happen too often, my response is that everything is political. Politics just means that something is about people, and if it isn't about people, then it probably isn't going to come up in a usual sermon.

Lately I have seen some claims that when talking about people in the church, including in the areas in which people are qualified to serve, those claims can be made on an intellectual and theological basis. In other words, it's nothing personal, I'm just saying what I think, or what God thinks (as if anyone knows this for certain).

My response to that is similar to the response about politics. If it's about people, it's personal. Now, it may not seem personal to the speaker, because the speaker is talking about a community to which he or she does not belong. But speak to people from that community about the words spoken, and it will quickly become apparent that those words feel awfully personal.

I am a fan of NPR, and I was saddened this week to hear that long time newswoman, Cokie Roberts, passed away. I heard an excerpt of a story in which one of her colleagues mentioned that women were granted the right to vote on such and such date, and she cut in to say that women weren't granted the right to vote by some benevolent white male force, they were already American citizens. They won the fight to be able to vote legally.

That was a seemingly innocuous phrase, and one that is used all the time--"granted the right to vote"--but to Roberts that language was personal. And she was right.

How many human rights violations have been perpetrated because something wasn't personal, it was "just the way it is?" Slavery based on racism, Jim Crow laws, laws that subjugate women, the "science" of Eugenics, all based on claims of truth given by people appealing to tradition, to science, and to religion.

We have to stop reducing people down to their ethnicity or their religion or their sexuality or their age or whatever when we talk about others. Each person is an individual. Each person is precious in the sight of God. Each person deserves respect. Each person deserves to be heard. Talking about people as if they are impersonal objects like tables or computers isn't giving people the dignity they deserve. And don't ever believe that rejection of a person isn't personal. It may be wrapped up in quasi intellectual or theological speech, but it is very personal. Every time.

That's my view today.

Getting Excited

Maybe it's just the circles I have run in, especially the world of academics, that gives me this impression, but I have found that it doesn't seem very "cool" to get excited over something. I don't mean getting excited in an angry or pessimistic way. That is totally cool. What I mean is getting excited because you are joyful about the present and future of something.

It seems that the moment someone gets excited about something, there is someone nearby to temper that enthusiasm, either with negative words about whatever it is, or a joking sarcasm that somehow the person has gone over the top. I think this happens in the world of music a lot, when someone discovers a new band or a new song and when they share it with someone else, that person downplays the goodness of the music. Maybe they even make fun of the first person because they have gone overboard. I have been on both sides of this. My apologies to early Justin Bieber fans.

I find that this happens so much that we are almost afraid to get excited about something. It's probably a defense mechanism, but if we are excited about something going on in our lives, maybe a new project that we are working on, maybe a new relationship in our lives, we almost automatically downplay our excitement when we tell someone else about it. It is probably fear of ridicule that causes us to do this.

But this robs us of our chances to be really happy about things in our lives. What a joy it is to find something new and enjoy it and not worry about how other people might react. What a joy it is to work toward something and see some fruit of your labor and just be happy in the moment that you reflect on what you've done.

And what a joy it is to just be happy about where you are! There's no shame in being excited about your life, your home, your church. There's no reason to fear being thought "uncool" because you are too enthusiastic about something you love. There is no joy in pretending that you don't really like whatever it is as much as you do so you won't seem weird or naive. This doesn't mean to willingly ignore the junk of life, but don't be ashamed of being happy in your work, your place, your church, your life.

If we need anything, we need more joy in the world. We need to give ourselves and others permission to just be excited about something we love or enjoy. Just be happy about it.

That's my view today...

Some days are tumblier than others...

Years ago I served a church as music director, and the secretary of the church thought that Christopher Warren sounded a lot like Christopher Robin, so that's what she called me. One day I came in and had a gift from her that was a mug with several of the characters from the classic Milne stories about Winnie the Pooh rolling around in the grass. The caption underneath the scene was "Some days are tumblier than others."

I have been reflecting on this saying this past week. Some days are tumblier than others, and some days are a lot something else-er than others. Maybe you have had a particularly something-er day recently.

Some days are harder than others. Some days are exciting-er than others. Some days are sadder than others. Some days are boring-er than others. And yes, at almost 45 years old, some days are tumblier than others.

As I say often in the church, when I am preaching, much of what I say is because I need to hear it. So please know that I need to hear this as much or maybe more than anyone.

Every day is something-er than others. Within that statement is an important implication. Other days are less whatever than that day. In fact, most days are less whatever than that day. If you have had a bad day, a bad time, some days are badder than others. But that means most days are gooder (better) than those bad days.

So, when things are rough and tumble and scary and frustrating, remember that some days are rougher and tumblier and scarier and frustrating-er than others. But the other days are coming where things will be better-er.

I pray this gives you (and me) hope for those bad times which come in every life.

That's the view today.

Do Your Research

I may have coined a new phrase in a recent sermon. I don't know if I'm the first person to use it, but as far as I know, I hadn't heard it before. My phrase was "don't go off half-cocked and totally cocky."
Maybe it'll catch on...

What I meant by that was it is really frustrating when someone gets a little bit of information, leaps to a conclusion, and then sticks to that conclusion. You remember Chicken Little? Versions of the story vary, but one of the earlier versions is that an acorn fell on Henny Penny's head, and from that Henny Penny concluded that the sky was falling. This meant the end of the world to Henny Penny, and she went around the barnyard telling everyone to take cover because the sky itself was caving in.

Here's how she went off half-cocked: Henny Penny didn't do any research, any checking to see if the terrible things she expected were actually happening. She didn't even look to see what had landed on her. She jumped to a conclusion. She really didn't even know what she was talking about. That's what I mean by half-cocked.

Here's how she went fully cocky: in light of any new information, any questioning, any possibility she might be wrong, Henny Penny stuck to her original conclusion. Nothing could change her mind. She knew the truth, and anyone who disagreed was foolish, stupid, or misinformed.

What a powerful story Chicken Little is. It is such a good glimpse into human nature as well. I should also add it is an insight into the way people read the bible. You probably knew I was going there, I'm a pastor, after all.

The bible is a rich and complex anthology of books about many different topics, including different types of literature (histories, laws, moralistic stories, proverbs, poetry, apocalypses, you get the point) written by any number of different people over the course of almost 2000 years. Trying to read the bible without understanding the culture of the time in which the words were written, the languages in which they were written, the people for whom they were written, the problems they were trying to solve or the issues they were trying to resolve by writing those words is difficult, if not impossible. And much of the information that we need to be sure what the authors meant is simply not available to us.

The bible does have an overall ethic, however. It stresses caring for one another and revering God. If something is not loving to a neighbor, it doesn't gel with the overall ethic of the bible. If something does not place God in the most important spot, it isn't of the bible.

Try to resist going off half-cocked and fully cocky when reading scripture or when listening to someone who wants to tell you what it says. Do your research. See what others are saying about a certain passage. Read different translations. Read commentaries. These tools have never been as available as they are now in the information age.

That will help keep us from jumping to conclusions. Being cocky about our conclusions is never in order. I have seen people--some pastors-- sarcastically dismissing others because they do not have the same interpretation on a passage or issue. Calling someone stupid or acting as if they are stupid is not biblical. Time and again Jesus showed us how to be humble even as we are being firm in our convictions. And remember, Jesus, who we look to as the number one most awesome human ever, allowed his mind to be changed in a conversation with a woman who he basically called a dog. Humility, research, mindfulness of other perspectives--these are the loving and Christian ways to handle disagreements over our sacred text.

At least, that's the view from where I'm standing...

Grace

Who's your biggest critic?

If you are anything like I am, it didn't take long to figure the answer to that one out.

By far, I am my own biggest critic.

It's unhealthy, I know.

It's frustrating, I know.

It's counterproductive, I know.

And still there it is. Somewhere inside me is a character who plays the role of the judge. Whenever I do something--it could be anything--the judge comes around to inspect the product of my labor. And the judge usually finds something lacking.

It's exhausting.

Yet, when I try to look at things from a different perspective, attempting at least to see things from a new angle, I can see that I have created this character in order to help me to be my best self. I have internalized the idea that judging myself harshly will make me better at what I do.

Where I got this idea, I do not know. This judge is sometimes out of control. Instead of helping me to do better, the judge paralyses me from moving forward.

I don't know how prevalent this is in the world, but if my sense of other humans is even partially right, I think a lot of people have this kind of internal dialogue going on. Here are the words that I want you to hear. They are the words I need to hear myself. I hope they can give you and me a sense of grace about ourselves today.

You are imperfect. In fact, imperfect is the best any of us can ever hope to be. There is no reason to expect perfection. There is no reason to expect that you have everything figured out on whatever you are up to before you even begin. There is no reason to expect that even if you do have everything figured out that you will do things perfectly and have no mental or physical lapses while you are doing whatever it is.

Being human is beautiful. You are beautiful, right now, with all those imperfections. Certainly work to be better, but always remember that better has limitations.

And don't compare yourself to people you think are better. You'll find, if you come to know them, that they, too have insecurities and fears and imperfections. Ain't none of us perfect!

No, you aren't perfect. But you are whole. You are loved. You are God's. You are You.

Have grace where it is often hardest...for yourself.

That's the view today.

Learning Something New

It takes time to learn something new. I don't mean learning the information itself, necessarily, but internalizing what you have learned can be a long process. When something comes up that challenges your prior understanding, the longer you've held that understanding, the longer it can be to change.

I have been reflecting recently on something I learned my freshman year of college. It has taken me a long time to internalize it, partially because of the shock in the lesson I learned because of the background I had.

My first year of college I joined in with a campus religious organization. My good friend Mike was the music leader for the meetings we had, and he encouraged me to go. I thought it would be a good opportunity to meet some new people on campus, and I was right. It was a small group and I got acquainted with a few students there.

One young woman I met there I knew only by her name and by sight. We hadn't really had any conversation, but she seemed like someone I would like hanging around with. So, when I was out at a local coffee shop, and I saw her, I greeted her in a way that I thought was warmly. "Hey, girl!" I shouted out when I saw her.

I learned that night that "Hey, girl!" is not an appropriate greeting for everyone.

At first I was baffled by her rebuke. Why would someone be angry when I was clearly being friendly? Then I was embarrassed, angry, confused-- several different emotions. I never spoke to her about that moment, and probably never spoke to her at all again. But I am grateful for the lesson, even though it took me a long time to understand.

My using the word "girl" was demeaning, even if I didn't intend it. It belittled her in comparison to me. White men have been doing this to women and people of color since time immemorial. It is so common I didn't even know why someone would be offended. It was years before I would fully understand.

I still make mistakes like this one sometimes, and when I do, I try to be more understanding when I am corrected. The way we talk to one another matters. The way we talk about one another matters. No one should be spoken of or to as less than. Period.

My situation was embarrassing but it wasn't of great importance in the world. But the way we talk about one another, maybe especially world leaders speak to and about one another, does change the way the world works. Respect, dignity, and kindness are things it costs nothing to offer to one another, but how rarely we see those gifts given. Even unintentional slights can change or sever relationships.

My view from where I stand today is to simply be aware of how our words referring to others can sound, even if we don't mean them in the way they are taken. Instead of building a defensive wall by blaming the person who was offended, simply take time to see why they might feel as they do. If we do this, we just might learn something new.